Welcome to www.ZombiesDontRun.com - Now on a new server!
As you no doubt have guessed, the name is a little protest against the current trend of movies featuring running zombies. You know which ones I'm talking about! Y'see, thing is, zombies don't run. Sure they shamble and shuffle, but don't we all? But if two people are trying to catch a bus - one is an olympic gold medalist, the other a person of the Living Dead persuasion - and the bus is about to pull off, who is going to run to catch that bus? And when was the last time you heard the word 'zombie' used in reference to speed? 'As fast as a zombie' is not a common term. Let's hope it stays that way.
Aside from that, Zombies Don't Run Productions is the name that a fantastic little zombie short has been produced under. It's called 'Detained' and it has the honour of starring one of the survivors and main stars of Romero's classic 'Day of the Dead' - Jarlath Conroy. It's rather good, even if I do say so myself, and you can check out its progress at www.detainedthemovie.com.
Sooner or later, there will be a more detailed site here and, when that happens, a notice will be put up at the 'Detained' website. Who knows what will go up here but unfortunately there will be no circus midgets* any time soon.
*It's not that we have anything against circus midgets. It's just that they are creepy and evil.
BIG TYPE - READ THIS!
The big type was just to attract the attention of the people who probably can't be bothered reading the stuff above (probably everyone except me and I only read it to check for spelling mistakes - there were two). In fact, if I knew how, this would have a box around it. Not to worry. Anyway, this bit is just here to announce the first (maybe last, who knows) crappy ZDR comic strip! It's below and, best of all, it has zombies in it!
Thought for the x (where x = interval between updates)
If zombies are working on instinct or memories of what they once were when they were human - why don't they eat animals? Or at least a burger or something? They lose most of their thought processes and all of a sudden they are picky eaters now?
Maybe it's not about eating. Maybe it's about creating more zombies. Maybe they are just lonely. After all, who wants to play crappy old Mario Party without any mates? Nobody, that's who. Maybe what remains of their human sides are their insecurities - they are afraid, so they get violent - they are lonely, so they bite more people. See it makes sense, doesn't it? And that explains why they don't run - because often people look like complete tits when they run. Don't try to pretend you haven't once worried about running like an old lady, because you have - it's okay to admit it. Apparently Roger Moore wouldn't run in the Bond movies because running just wasn't cool. The only person who doesn't seem to realise it is Mel Gibson, who has made running down a road his trademark.
There is simply no way in hell a zombie would be seen running for fear that other zombies may laugh at him and possibly even call him girly names. They don't even walk fast. Why? Have you ever seen those people who do those godawful walking races with their asses wiggling about? That's why.
Fact - zombies don't run.
